Sunday, February 13, 2011

Where's Waldo....I mean Autumn?

I am alive, I promise!  Aside from the quick chili post yesterday, I haven't blogged all week!  My bad!  It's been very busy getting back to reality after being off for what seemed like an eternity with the flu.  I've got lots to share.  Good, bad, and really, really, really ugly.

First things first.
As promised, I did my official weigh in on February 8th.  If you recall, I posted last week in this blog... Celebrating Successes! that I cheated and weighed early.  Although that days weigh in wasn't officially official, it is now.  LOL.  When I weighed in on the 8th at 6:45am I was just out of bed, butt naked, after my morning pee, having consumed nada since the prior evening I was....drum roll please...233lbs.  No changes in the 3 days since I cheated and weighed early, but... I am perfectly okay with that!! It's weird how even though the number on the scale may not always change, I continue to see and feel the changes happening in my body.  :-)

Intermission:  Pardon me while I get up to let my dogs out...Bandit, my 17 year old shi-tzu poodle, whom I've had since he was 3 weeks old, is growling at que to let him out!
Bandit boy

Sasha girl

I'm back....let's see how much I can get done before he starts yapping...I mean barking, letting me know he's ready to come back in...

Let's see....what's next?

I had an appointment on Wednesday with my surgeon for my 2 year check up (a couple of months early).  I scheduled with him because I've had three episodes of chest pain in the past year, the most recent was last month.  After talking with him, he scheduled me to have an endoscopy done because he thinks I might have an ulcer on my pouch.  To this day I continue to have to take an acid reducer (I talk WM brand OTC) every day.  If I miss 2-3 days or more, my pouch becomes VERY unhappy and quickly reminds me that I haven't taken the medicine.  My scope is scheduled for Tuesday morning and I am also going to get my 2 year blood work done.  The scope is a relatively easy, non-invasive procedure.  They'll give me some lala land drugs to knock me out and the doc will run a scope that has a fancy little camera on it down my throat and through my esophogus, to my stomach so he can see if there is an ulcer. It'll be over in a matter of minutes and I will be back home within a few hours.

This is a mixture of good and bad for me.  Good because at almost two years out, this will be my first scope.  Having to get scopes done can be very common for post-ops, especially when there are complications. I've been beyond blessed in this journey and have had ZERO complications!  Bad because I just dont like the idea of having to face this issue of having chest pain, but I know I need to.  Good, again, because I know I will figure out the cause of my chest pain (even if it's not an ulcer--if it's not, we'll continue to dig until we find the cause).  I am hoping it is an ulcer because compared to other possibilities, an ulcer is EASY to deal with and treat.  I will keep you all posted on this...

Intermission again---Bandit wants back in!  LOL.

Okay, back to it...

I also met with the dietician that day.  I have been working on trying to figure out how many calories I should be consuming daily to lose weight.  It turns out that for the past year, I haven't been eating enough calories and my body has been in starvation mode....which has been part of the problem that has resulted in me not losing any weight over the past year.  At first, the idea of eating more scared the pure ish outta me, but now I am SO glad to be figuring this out!  My dietician said considering the amount of exercise I do that I should have a daily goal of 1800-2000 calories, but if there are days I just can't get that much in, she said never go below 1400.  So, I am continuing to eat several small meals/snacks through out the day and most days I am getting within that 1800-2000 range. I am trying to keep my focus on protein first, getting a minimum of 100 grams a day, veggies and fruit.  Some days are a little shy, but that's okay.  This is a process!

Okay, moving on...

A bit of very, very ugly...

Deep breath...okay.

Part of this blog is meant for me to be accountable to myself.  It helps me, greatly, to take accountability for my choices by sharing them with you all, even when I screw up royally...which I did.  The day I made the chili (posted yesterday, made it Friday---see post... Autumn's ChiliI went to WM to grab the ingredients.  I found myself in a bit of a funk this past week and just felt overwhelmed and stressed with everything I've got to do.  The result of me not dealing with it the right way?  I F'd up.  Bad.  When I was shopping for the ingredients for the chili I wanted to splurge a little bit and have some fritos scoops with it.  I KNEW I shouldn't have bought them.  I tried to convince myself that I would just eat one serving size and not lose control with them.  I. was. wrong.  I started eating them as soon as I got in my truck (after I inhaled the 3 muskateers candy bar that I also "splurged" on).  I munched on them all day.  Two chips here, three chips there.  Before I knew it, the whole bag was gone.  Empty.  I ate every single one of them.  FAIL.  1760 calories and an ungodly amount of fat.  So not worth it. 

I felt horrible.  I texted a friend of mine and she helped me to not allow that to send me into a downward spiral (thanks Sarah!).  Why did I do that?  Why did I buy those chips knowing I shouldn't have?  Why did I eat the entire bag in one day?  I dont know.  But...I refuse to let that set me back.  I choose to learn from that mistake and not do it again.  This journey is hard, but every day I must remind myself to take it...

Moving something fun and amazingly awesome, which also helped erase some of the guilt of eating the chips because I burned off all of the calories, plus some!

Yesterday, I participated in a 2 hour Zumba event for heart health.  The "Party Hearty" event was incredible!  I had so much fun, met lots of amazing women, and got in one of the best workouts I've had in a long time!!   Let me tell you, even though it was a blast, when I got home....I felt it~!  I was zonked out.  I realized that I have a lot to learn about Zumba before I am ready to start teaching my own classes.  I am still getting my certification on March 18th, but I definatley need to enhance my knowledge and skill before I start instructing classes!  I know I will be able to and now I have met so many awesome women who have amazing talent and I can't wait to learn from all of them!  I also can't wait for the next Zumba event!!!  We've got one coming up on the 26th and another on March 7th!!! 
That's me...that giantly tall chick in the red, between the two ladies in pink.
Arms in the air, doin my Zumba thang-thang!  Loved that event!!!

Alright...time to wrap it up.

I will quickly share what I've been eating on for the past hour and a dinner.

Marinated chicken tenders, cottage cheese, and fresh strawberries!  Yum!

All right, ya'll...I think that's it for now.

Till next time...

Lots of Love,


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